hobby or addiction?

[drlove]

I would be interested in knowing how many of you overindulge in the hobby, and how often. In my case, I travel to Toronto frequently for a little R&R. Usually I'll decide to see a couple of my regular ladies, and perhaps someone new for variety's sake.

However, more often than not, by the time I'm ready to leave three has turned into six - and I can't wait to come back again. Generally, I don't think too much of the cost until the credit card bill arrives, simply because I'm having too much of a good time to really care.

So, I'm curious....do most of you stick to a budget, or go on a spending spree and worry about it later??

[Willywants]

Hi Doc!
Definitely a habit!!
But where can you find an Indie that takes a CC?
Just think! For the premium you must have paid for using your credit card, you could have had seven!!!
I am constantly robbing the piggy bank! You know it's a habit when you start asking the wife if she has a few bucks to lend, or alternately, when you lift a few bills from her purse when she's not looking! The shame!!!

Willywants (to bring his CC's from max to zero balance)

[drlove]

I hear you Willy...LOL!

Actually, I pay cash for the Indies. I use a credit card for the agency escorts since I get frequent flyer miles with it. The way I look at it, the more free flights I get, the more trips to Toronto I take!

P.S. Couldn't have said your last comment better myself. :D

[Avery]

If you can indulge without f--king up your relationships or your finances, it's a hobby.

If you can't, it's an addiction.

[jack]

Originally posted by Avery
If you can indulge without f--king up your relationships or your finances, it's a hobby.

If you can't, it's an addiction.

A great statement that covers many activities, including model trains!!!

[blindmystic]

a toronto jungian analyst was lecturing on the difference between love and transference. he said, if everything is going well in the relationship, then it's love; when it's going bad it's transference.

although he said this slightly tongue in cheek, there's a kernal of truth, and it applies equally well to the difference here between hobby and addiction ....

[The Troll]

Trollie The Pragmatist has always valued money above sex and has never allowed his activities to be anything but a hobby. (BTW Willy that wasn't an insult but rather a very insightful comment and I hereby rename you Wise Willywants).

It saddens me when I see people lose sight of the nature of the activity of which we are partaking.

It saddens me that I lost a good friend who thought I might have feelings for her when in fact I would never allow feelings beyond simple friendship to intrude.

The Troll realized the illusions created within this hobby by a simple comment years ago....I was in a strip club, a guy I had never seen before was walking into the lounge behind me with a dancer and for no reason at all he looked at me and mumbled 'she really likes me you know' and he was dead serious.

I realized then that some people partake of this hobby for reasons other than sex....to this day I feel bad for that guy.

[Big Daddy]

Interesting post Trollie. I agree with you. I think self control is necessary to keep this a hobby. It can easily become a habit. As for me, I only see an SP when I am in Toronto for a business visit. I never travel to Toronto if I am not there for business. This way I only spend a few days, and I see SPs during that time. I don't use credit cards, so I know what I am spending. Although I am surprised to see that some SPs charge $350 per hour. Does anyone pay that kind of money? Is there anyone who has paid $350/hour for a SP? I would like to know what kind of service justifies that price?

[Willywants]

As a rule of thumb, I go for the max $250 with multiple hour reductions. I have yet to see any SP listed at $350ph that has enticed me enough to spend that much.
Maybe one day $$$$$!!
As a very observant hobbyist once said, "You turn the ladies upside down, they all look like piggy banks."
It seems the question is just how much are you willing to insert?
In some cases that may include CC's! Just make sure you get it back!
Wouldn't Interac be a gas! Cash back!!!

Willywants (lots more money)

[Gumby07]

If it takes 2 paycheques to clear my overdraft, does that qualify me as a hobbiest or an addict??

Gumby©

PS. wish I had a wife to borrow money from!!!

[syn]

from a different perspective, i thought that i would let you know that sometimes when i was working as an independent, i would come across some clients who would use my services on a regular basis when it would sometimes be clear that he could not afford it ... i will admit that i am a bleeding heart ... and that some sp's are just in the biz to make money and would keep on taking a client's money if he kept calling - but for me - on occasion, i would feel a little guilty booking appointments with certain gentlemen - and i sometimes turned down a booking with them on the basis that i felt i was destroying them financially. [example: a client alex who i saw for years, was laid off and going through his severance pay on me rapidly ... i felt that i would have been taking advantage of his low self-esteem if i kept booking him as much as he called ... ]

while i accept that it would be a perfect world if everyone who called an sp was using disposable income or could truly afford the hobby, i guess it would not bother me as much as if their children were not using foodbanks or going without winter boots because their daddy is addicted to the allure of visiting an sp. god! i cringed at the idea of someone skimming money from the purse of their significant other to visit me ...

[Ace Ventura-PD]

Originally posted by syndy
from a different perspective, i thought that i would let you know that sometimes when i was working as an independent, i would come across some clients who would use my services on a regular basis when it would sometimes be clear that he could not afford it ... i will admit that i am a bleeding heart ... and that some sp's are just in the biz to make money and would keep on taking a client's money if he kept calling - but for me - on occasion, i would feel a little guilty booking appointments with certain gentlemen - and i sometimes turned down a booking with them on the basis that i felt i was destroying them financially. [example: a client alex who i saw for years, was laid off and going through his severance pay on me rapidly ... i felt that i would have been taking advantage of his low self-esteem if i kept booking him as much as he called ... ]

while i accept that it would be a perfect world if everyone who called an sp was using disposable income or could truly afford the hobby, i guess it would not bother me as much as if their children were not using foodbanks or going without winter boots because their daddy is addicted to the allure of visiting an sp. god! i cringed at the idea of someone skimming money from the purse

f their significant other to visit me ...



Ok then, will ya take air miles or Canadian Tire money? :) Ace

[Gumby07]

Yea!!! Canadian Tire money!!!! I got lots of that, don't go there anymore so if any SP's take that, I have lots. I'm also willing to trade my movie collection, music collection, coin collection, joke collection, dust collection.... younameitigotit collection!!!! Any takers??

Gumby©

[Ace Ventura-PD]

Originally posted by Gumby©
Yea!!! Canadian Tire money!!!! I got lots of that, don't go there anymore so if any SP's take that, I have lots. I'm also willing to trade my movie collection, music collection, coin collection, joke collection, dust collection.... younameitigotit collection!!!! Any takers??

Gumby©



Hell Ill trade my herb harvest.

[Gawd]

In the Caribbean, Cuba, Mexico and any third world country.

You'd be amazed what you can get for 5 cents!

[fuji]

I came across this once. Interesting perspective on this from a financial planner who has had clients whose bank accounts simply don't balance, and why:

http://www.rrsp.org/problems.htm - When People Have Gambling, Alcohol, Drug or Sex Addictions

He suggests things like locked-in investments and paid up life insurance, 5 years GIC's, etc., for people with sex, gambling, drug, or alcohol addictions, so that the person who cannot control the spending cannot get at the money, and so on.

[PHNINE]

Well, this thread can simply be answered with a little term defining. An addiction is a habit that you cannot live without. You are tempted and ultimately forced to do it over and over. A hobby is something you do on your own time, something that you can stop at any time. If you can participate in this hobby and stop at any time, then it is in fact a hobby. However, most of us on these boards are always coming back and therefore it results in it being an addiction. I mean come on, which one of us can go on without pussy? It is an addiction, although I would like to think of it as a hobby. Calling it a hobby just eases the shame. It also sounds better, "hobbyist" oppose to "addict". But let's face, we all know we are addicted other wise there wouldn't be so many posts under your handle.....LOL Another funny way to look at it is that we are all addicted to this hobby...LOL :cool:

[hypedX]

Can you be adicted to someone, rather than something?

[PHNINE]

I believe they call that obsession.

[nervous]

I believe they call that obsession.

ouch.

[PHNINE]

Permission? It is a right to Hobby!!:cool:

[JoyfulC]

Responsible experienced SPs will recognize the signs of addictive/out-of-control behaviour, and will cut a guy off for his own good when he starts exhibiting it.

Such signs might include:

-- seeing the escort much more frequently than most regulars do (although this in itself is not proof positive);

-- asking for credit;

-- having "accidents" such as showing up without wallet, etc.

-- offering items of much greater value for sessions such as cars, expensive jewelry (that probably isn't theirs to give away) etc.

A really naive and/or greedy SP will ride this pony for all he's worth -- but a decent SP will shut him down. We don't make our money by exploiting people's failings. We make our money by providing quality service.

I should note that sometimes it doesn't always work out so well for the SP who decides to take advantage of some poor unfortunate soul's situation. I remember, back in the 80s, a stripper in the US decided to play some poor guy for all he was worth. He ultimately took out a second mortgage on his home and embezzled money from his employer to satisfy her demands.

All they ever found of her were some braincells on a hammer in the pocket of his parka.

..c..

[Cassi@Allstars]

Im a really big fan of music, for some reason what ever mood i may be in there is that perfect album, Crosby Stills and Nash for cleaning the house always works, or if its a tidy up i gotta go with Queens greatest hits. Im just getting into The doors now, and i just got over my 5week strech of everything Bob Dylen, but he'll be back.

[funkygroove]

I am definitely addictied, been trying to get help over a year ago. Thought I had recovered, but it backfired becoming worse over the summer. I've been seeing atleast 3 SPs a week over the last few weeks, sometimes upto 3 a day because some SPs ended up providing shitty service, and I go looking until I'm happy.

anyone has an advice to battle this addiction? It's not as easy as it sounds. I've always wanted to drop by the sex-addicts clinic in Toronto, but wonder if I'd meet other female addicts?

[Esco!]

Im a really big fan of music, for some reason what ever mood i may be in there is that perfect album, Crosby Stills and Nash for cleaning the house always works, or if its a tidy up i gotta go with Queens greatest hits. Im just getting into The doors now, and i just got over my 5week strech of everything Bob Dylen, but he'll be back.
WTF does this have to do with the thread????? :confused:

[Alexis696969]

Lmao

[funkygroove]

Look at how much you're spending. Write it down. Assess your financial situation. You may be digging yourself into a hole that will take a long time to get out of.
It make take you years to pay of any debt that you've accumulated in the last few weeks.
I speak from experience. Money is much easier to spend than it is to make.
Good luck.

Yes... I did think about the amount I've been spending the past few weeks, and the total I'd spend if I hobbied like this for a few years. In the past, when I was still new to this hobby, I'd only use the spare change on hobbying (say my pay cheque was 1300, I'd only use 300) ; I've been blowing everything on hobbying. Mind you, I had stopped hobbying for a few months before this troubling behaviour started a few months ago, beginning of summer. I keep saying to myself, I'm only doing it over the summer as I have nothing better to do, and that once my life gets back to the usual once fall comes, I'll stop this habit. But it worries me when I look back at where I started, and where I am today. It scares me shitless to think about whether this habit will only get worse.

I think it's time to get into a long-term relationship.

[dondada]

I've become more addicted to terb than the hobby itself...and I'm glad it only cost me 40 a month internet... :)

I think if you have to budget on a weekly basis to hobby...you're addicted...

[fred Zed]

If you can indulge without f--king up your relationships or your finances, it's a hobby.

If you can't, it's an addiction.

Excellent definition of addiction to the hobby

[Powershot]

10 year old thread! I'm just happy I did not post about having an addiction in this thread 10 years back.

[Artmann]

I've become more addicted to terb than the hobby itself...and I'm glad it only cost me 40 a month internet... :)
..

It's not just the monthly cost of the internet, it's all the billable hours you can also waste here.

[kaempferrand]

When I started which was in 2004 in Montreal I went crazy. And it was on one girl and this lasted for a good six months. Then I woke up which was a good kick in the butt. Then I stopped for a whole year in 2005 because well I got back into normal relationships. Got bored with that and jumped back in in 2006 when I moved to Montreal. Hobbying continued but I learned my lesson and only limit my encounters to three dates. If the first encounter was good then two dinner dates. Nowadays I don't hobby much maybe I see two/three girls a year. Now instead of three it goes down to two dates. And sometimes I don't even bother the dinner thing anymore.

Also back around 2004 to 2006 there were some amazing gems left and right in the Montreal escort scene. Especially in the HDH market. It was like no matter who you chosen you can't miss. The Courtesans, FKS, and I-N/Elite Canadian/Montreal Girlfriends/MGF. I mean if real dating/relationships were like this hobby/fantasy, I wouldn't be hobbying.