Research Assistant

[Ref]

For the past few months I have been busy trying to create the worlds first Cyborg. The majority of my research requires fresh cadavers. Most of the time I just steal them from the morgue or if I’m desperate, I dig up fresh graves and take them right out of the coffin.

However, the other night while masturbating to those late night TV ads, I rolled off of the couch and sprained my arm.

I’m looking for a young able-bodied person to assist me in my research. The ideal candidate should be strong enough to carry a corpse, good with a shovel and ideally, he should have no living relatives.

PM me if you are interested.

[MojoRisin']

hmmmm whats it pay and what are the hours?

[Snook.fr]

...... :confused: ..... I thought I was Hired?....

[PlatinumDriver]

are there any benifits? Can I choose my own hours? also, I am somewhat strong, but the last time I picked up a dead body, I pulled a muscle in my back, so would it be ok if I brought the dead bodies in pieces?

[VCipher]

Do you need them dead and buried or can i bring a live one and just kill him their for you? I hate moving dead bodies. lol ;-)

VCipher

[anon1]

Originally posted by PlatinumDriver
[B} the last time I picked up a dead body [/B]

What the hell's the matter with you?
You DO NOT pick up a dead body, you roll it onto a blanket or something similar and drag it away. Amateurs!

[Flower]

We "bury" the dead above the ground in vaults.

I can get you all the temporary help that you want for an oyster po boy, six pack of Dixie Voodoo Beer and a bag of Zapp's Potato Chips each. Just tell me how many bodies you need and when. I'll even accompany them to TO myself.

I'll PM you my fee. It is not negotiable.

[Morgan Ellis]

Lemme check my closet - I think there are one or two subbies in there I 'forgot' to let out a few months ago. They should be nicely aged by now and ready for you to work on...

PS: if brains are a hard requirement, you might be out of luck.

-- Morgan

[QB7]

A friend will help you move

A good friend will help you move the body


LMAO Ref

Cheers
QB7

[wrong hole]

Damn ref,

I thought you were looking for someone to help you masturbate

[Pistol Pete]

That position's been filled on a volunteer basis wrong hole.

[Celia]

This is sick and twisted. Have you been watching too many horror movies lately?

[wrong hole]

Originally posted by Pistol Pete
That position's been filled on a volunteer basis wrong hole.


....who is the lucky person

[drtroff]

What is the benefits package like...is there workman's comp. I assume I'd be working the graveyard shift.

[Shorty]

do I get a dental plan?

[slademan]

Ref, I have come accross an endless supply of fresh cadavers, and we deliver......I hope this helps your research

[mic00]

Man you guys are dumb. You know how long it takes to dig up a grave? Just steal the body from a funeral home. They are still above ground and the coffin is even on wheels some times. Plus, who is going to be suspicious of a dead body at a funeral home?

[loki]

If there is left over stuff, do you, like get to eat it or does it have to go back in the fridge?

Just wondering, because most fast food places you don't get to eat for free, they charge you like half price still.

[Stoo]

Technically, my ex is alive. But at certain times, she really seemed pretty dead... What will you give me for her?

[GIMME]

Whats the health insurance plan? Do you give life insurance? Do you pay into my RRSP's?

[i_am_good]

...a dead end job to me... :p
...you wouldn't stiff me, would you...
...I wouldn't be caught dead doing that job...

[PHNINE]

Research assistants don't have to wear Tux's....only butlers do...:D

[PHNINE]

So does Strong...;)

[greenii]

Doe's this job pay CASH because i am on workers Comp.. and i don't want them to know i am working..Plus this is at night, right. Which is perfect as the workers comp. investigators don't follow me at night...
P.S. I am not really hurt so i can do heavy lifting of dead bodies and dig up graves..

P.S.S. If the position is already filled would you consider buying my left arm as i have no need for it because i am right handed and never Whack off with my left hand,
priced to sell!!!!!!

[LancsLad]

The two gay guys that lived in TO had a unique relationship. About 5:30 each day the stay at home partner put his ass in the freezer for about 20 minutes. His friend liked to slip into something cool after work.

[bestillmehard]

lmao...friends help you move...but REAL friends help you move bodies..:D

[Bella6969]

What the hell's the matter with you?
You DO NOT pick up a dead body, you roll it onto a blanket or something similar and drag it away. Amateurs!


HAHAHHAHA Just roll it up in a carpet :D