Oral after marriage poll.

[Cave Carson]

The "Savage Love" column by Dan Savage in today's (Feb. 28 - March 6) issue of Now remarks upon men who refuse to perform oral sex on their mates. Now I find it very difficult to believe that any self-respecting TERBite would not lap eagerly at the amusement park between the legs of his mate - so I have no questions here.

However, Dan also touches on the topic of wives who refuse to orally service their husbands. (He's opposed to them.) This leads me to wonder what percentage of wives will not provide their husbands with oral sex. I ask that the voting - although not necessarily the discussion of this topic - be limited to married men only.

Also, have you married men found that your mate's apparent enthusiasm for performing oral diminished markedly once you got married?

[crash]

Lot's of guys I know say the same thing, "once married, had the kid(s), sex life goes down the tubes".

We males haven't changed, but the women no longer feels the need to perform, she's got her man. Bad attitude I know, but I am (except for the sex part) in a happy relationship for 25 years. It is only when the hormones kick in that we have our different needs. I find men will gladly do the deed that needs to be done to satisfy the woman in their life, but the reverse is not true.

So many times it has been "don't", "no, I'm tired"... I could have two bleeding stumps for legs, a massive migrain with an oncoming stroke and I'd still go for it. go figure.

so when she says "no, I'm tired. Go find someone else", eventually.... you do.

[james t kirk]

Well, this is a frightening pole now isn't it.

Although i am single now, i was living with a woman for 5 years, and during that 5 year period, my ex never lost her desire to suck cock.

Maybe i was lucky, i dunno.

We fought about everything, and i wish her only the worst, but she was always a good cock sucker, though she would spit.

Frankly, i could care less about that aspect, she always took my load in her mouth.

What would be an interesting addition to that pole is

"she used to suck with a vengence, and now that we are all married up, she can't be bothered"

I figure a man is totally, 100 percent justified in seeking outside his marriage what he does not receive inside it.

[wipeme]

I do it everyday, sometimes twice or more and I get it once a month if I am lucky. I have told him several times I want it more and I don't get it. I bathe every day, sometimes twice a day, I am clean shaven and still........NADA. I have pretty much given up.

I have had plenty of partners in my life and I have only ever had one who was eager and willing to go down all the time......you guessed it........she was a woman!!!


:confused: Wipeme

[Alanis]

...and maybe I'll watch, ok?;)

[Alanis]

I don't know...knowing wipeme's preferences, it might not be me to feel a bit...lonely:D

[wipeme]

Oooh.....good one Alanis!!! Dr. Wanker - thanks for the offer. I think Syndy? posted about this problem too. I remember all the offers she got. I felt bad for her but, relieved I wasn't the only one with this problem.....it is amazing what I find myself telling you guys..

In another life I must of been really spoiled or something....:D

I will continue taking my yoga classes and one day - maybe I can reach my goal alone.....

LOL

Wipeme

[wipeme]

Karate Kid.....what a strange world we live in!!!

What have we done to deserve this torment??? Why the F aren't we worthy??

[MRMARCUS]

I know i should not be inputting to this topic b/c i am not married.
But i was wondering what are the advantages to getting married.? I am in my thirties and i am starting to see no reason for it.
I guess the consensus is once you get married then the freaky deaky stops or dwindles alot.

[st1100]

I haven't had ANYTHING in over two years now. I love my wife dearly, but she just lost all interest in me. To me my marriage is a torment. On the one hand, I am with the woman I love. My best friend. My soul mate. On the other, I just want some good old fashioned raunchy sex. Still debating starting the hobby.

Paul.

[crash]

Well, this is a frightening pole now isn't it.
And how many times have I heard that? :D

Never.

Agree with ST1100. Soul mate, friend, lifetime "partner". More to life that sex, right? It's just that occasionally (particularly during mid-life f#@*ing crisis !!!!) hormones begin to rage. I wan't to know who said men reach their peak in late teens. Maybe perform better when younger (?) but the desire doesn't seem to disappear.


P.S. ST1100 - is that what you ride? Coming down east in June/July on my Interstate. How's the Cabot Trail? PM me if you want.

[travel'nman]

Before my wife and I were married over 25 years ago, she was an expert with her mouth. On the honeymoon she announced "no more oral".
She still enjoys it when I go down on her, however. Even if she discourages it, she always enjoys it. However, at this point in her life, she rarely lets me go down on her.

[wop]

sex after children??? is it really poosible??!!someone please let my wife know, 'cause I'm not sure she has a grasp of that concept.

[Willywants]

Where do we guys find these treasures of loftier thinking!
Haven't had a good dinner at home in years! Even after 38 years of marriage, I still want, but am constantly denied a place at the table! As far as inviting my wife to dine with me! Forget it! She no longer accepts such invitations!
A large, large frustration of great concern!
I cannot fathom how a man's desire remains constant, yet a woman's is so damn ambivelent! Love me, hold me, penetrate me, you feel so nice and warm, but don't do anything that might bring me to orgasm! And I never did like going down, so I'm not doing that anymore! What kind of shit invades the skull of married women?
Wipeme, if I was yours and you were doing me 2 or 3 times a day, I would most definitely reciprocate!
I have often heard women say, "How come all the good guys go first?" Well I ask, "Where the hell does a married woman's desire for sex go?"
Yes there is love, mutual attraction, respect, friendship et al!! Just not good sex!!

Willywants (to open her legs and her mouth!)

[wty]

Now, I don't want to get off on a rant here, but...
before we were married, my wife did OCCASIONALY, and when we talked about it once, she alluded to the old " Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free? " syndrome. I thought things would get better when we married. WRONG! Married three years, I've received maybe half a dozen times. Now, I love to go down on her, but RARELY get that chance either. She confided once, while drinking, that her reluctance was due to an ex who I guess shoved or held her head, and made her gag. She thought this would help me understand, but now I can't help but think that she did this for other guys, and won't for me. She only went with this guy for a while, we've been together for nine years, married for three. It also doesn't help that this guy was black, and I've got issues there. Not for racist reasons at all, just my own insecurities about size. This may sound fucked, but it's a real problem for me/us.

[Mr.lover]

this reminds me of a joke i once heard..

Why was the bride smiling on the way down the isle?
Because she knew she gave her last bj..

[great bear]

Well, this is a frightening pole now isn't it.

Although i am single now, i was living with a woman for 5 years, and during that 5 year period, my ex never lost her desire to suck cock.

Maybe i was lucky, i dunno.

We fought about everything, and i wish her only the worst, but she was always a good cock sucker, though she would spit.

Frankly, i could care less about that aspect, she always took my load in her mouth.

What would be an interesting addition to that pole is

"she used to suck with a vengence, and now that we are all married up, she can't be bothered"

I figure a man is totally, 100 percent justified in seeking outside his marriage what he does not receive inside it.

Kirk, your opening sentence uses something like "this is a frightening pole".
I want you to know that I have a very frightening pole.

[great bear]

I get oral sex from my wife on a regular basis. Everytime I suggest a BJ she says "go screw yourself". Thats pretty oral for me.

[freedom3]

Now, I don't want to get off on a rant here, but...
before we were married, my wife did OCCASIONALY, and when we talked about it once, she alluded to the old " Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free? " syndrome. I thought things would get better when we married. WRONG! Married three years, I've received maybe half a dozen times. Now, I love to go down on her, but RARELY get that chance either. She confided once, while drinking, that her reluctance was due to an ex who I guess shoved or held her head, and made her gag. She thought this would help me understand, but now I can't help but think that she did this for other guys, and won't for me. She only went with this guy for a while, we've been together for nine years, married for three. It also doesn't help that this guy was black, and I've got issues there. Not for racist reasons at all, just my own insecurities about size. This may sound fucked, but it's a real problem for me/us.

This is a great post. When will men learn what a raw deal marriage is? All you are doing when you get married is making a financial commitment to a woman. She has all the rights. The right to support. The right to move anywhere in Canada with the children. The right to name the children (first and last name). The best part is, she has the right to bitch at you even when she is cashing your cheques.

This guy's wife has felt that now that she has explained why she doesn't like oral sex, that that will solve the problem. Why not give the explanation before the marriage? Because she knew how he would react. She isn't stupid. She knew once he was married that he was stuck.

[great bear]

Would that be covered or bear?

Bearly covered!

[DshRipRock]

My wife has gotten better at BJ's since we married. She swallows like a trooper! We have been married 17 years.

[wooly110]

My wife has gotten better at BJ's since we married. She swallows like a trooper! We have been married 17 years.Ahh....practice makes perfect doesn't it?
Mrs. Wooly is the same way. I have yet to get a bj from a woman who's done it better than her. Not that others aren't very good at it. But, when you've been together for 20 years, you kinda learn what each other likes. And, since I spoil her with oral, she returns the favour.

[ronzodd]

This is a great post. When will men learn what a raw deal marriage is? All you are doing when you get married is making a financial commitment to a woman. She has all the rights. The right to support. The right to move anywhere in Canada with the children. The right to name the children (first and last name). The best part is, she has the right to bitch at you even when she is cashing your cheques.

This guy's wife has felt that now that she has explained why she doesn't like oral sex, that that will solve the problem. Why not give the explanation before the marriage? Because she knew how he would react. She isn't stupid. She knew once he was married that he was stuck.


I feel it is our job to save the next generation from this HELL!!
I made the big mistake of falling in love with someone who didn't love me...chased her til she married me and now with kids who wants to cause them the grief of a split!! It is not like we are fighting or anything..just not getting along in the sack....we are friends and "soulmates" but the constant message is "go take a cold shower"...You know the myriad of excuses...cold, flu, upset stomach, menstruating( which didn't matter before we married), cramps, sore back, sore front headache, tired, overtired, wound up, stressed out and not now!!!
(If I was that ill all the time I'd be in a nursing home!!)
THEN F'EN WHEN!!! Birthday, xmas, anniversary, on those occasions when she is drunk...
So when the kids are old enough to handle it..Bye,Bye!!

Tell the next Gen...don't buy the COW!! There is FREE MILK EVERY WHERE and if not, reasonably priced milk at you local, friendly, receptive SP!!!

[Meister]

ronzodd, you are fucking hilarious. sorry, that doesn't help you. lololol

[Bud Plug]

I know i should not be inputting to this topic b/c i am not married.
But i was wondering what are the advantages to getting married.? I am in my thirties and i am starting to see no reason for it.
I guess the consensus is once you get married then the freaky deaky stops or dwindles alot.

Congratulations! You waited long enough to have the maturity to see it for what it is - a bad deal in at least 95% of cases. Consider yourself to be one of the luckiest men alive!

[rockyy]

... Dan also touches on the topic of wives who refuse to orally service their husbands. (He's opposed to them.)

you know the real danger in being gay is the possibility, however remote, of ending up as Dan Savage's boyfriend at some stage of your life. 'Dan, are you giving straight couples marital advice AGAIN???? I thought you swore to give it up...?'